Halloween

Halloween will soon be here!!! I always get excited when halloween comes around. I love getting Jayden all dressed up to go trick or treating, and I love seeing my nephew Jacob in his costume. This year jayden has changed his mind on what he wants to dress up, a couple times. At first he wanted to be a clown and now, then he wanted to be a vampire. Now he wants to be a vampire that carries around a chainsaw...LOL i thought it was pretty funny, but I know i'll be the one stuck carrying the chainsaw the whole night.

 Normally I take Jayden trick or treating around the neighborhood in Georgetown. He has always gotten some decent candy, but this year I am thinking about about taking him somewhere else. I'm not sure where we will end up taking him, but there are some decent places in Cincinnati that we may go. Who knows depending on the day that all the trick or treating falls on we may even a few places so he can get some use out of his costume this year instead of only being able to wear it once.

The only thing I am worried about is his breathing. Almost every year since he started trick or treating at one year old I have unfortunately had to take him to the emergency room a couple days later because of his breathing...So either we are bundling him up really tight this year or we need to find places inside that distribute candy!

 Another thing that I love about halloween is decorating the outside of the house!! Its really the beginning of the decorating season for me and it gets me excited for the holiday season. After all The holidays start the day after halloween!!! When trick or treating is over I will make sure that I post pictures of Jayden up so that everyone can see just how cute my little boy was on that night :)

Gestational Diabetes

I had my sugar done a couple weeks ago and it came back high so I had to have a three hour test done last Thursday, that also came back elevated so therefore I have gestational diabetes. When I heard the news I was devistated. I know that it is common for women to get gestational diabetes when they are pregnant, but I didn't think that I would get it. Let me tell you, it sucks! I have to prick my fingers four times a day (in the morning before I eat, an hour after breakfast, lunch, and dinner) the inital pricking myself, I was terrified. I am a big baby when it comes to any type of needle. But, this isn't as bad as I thought and it doesn't hurt. What frustrates me is the fact that I have to watch what I eat. I feel guilty because I always thought that I was eating right. I found out from the doctor that it isn't neccessarily that I am eating wrong it is just how my body is absorbing the food. Right now I am breaking down sugar faster then I should so it gives me high blood sugar. The example that the doctor used was that both him and I can eat carrots but they effect us both differently. Where as he may digest them normal I digest them too quickly. It really sucks having to watch what I eat though, there are a lot of foods that I ate that I can no longer have (the occassional fast food), and some "not so good things" I can have in moderation mayonaisse). I also have to count calories and watch my portion size. This really sucks because I am always hungry now, and the past three days (since I found out I have this) I have had a constant headache. So, yeah it sucks! BUT I would much rather Kinleigh be healthy then to eat whatever the heck I wanted. After all when a women has gestational diabetes its not the women its effecting at that time its the baby. So, I would be stupid if I continued to eat those bad foods, I'm only putting her at risk! that would be so selfish! and it is also helping down the road because if I don't fix how I eat now I myself could develope diabetes down the road, and I don't want to have to do this for the rest of my life. For pregnant moms the best things to do to help prevent gestational diabetes is to watch what you eat, and try to minimize the stress ( i believe more then anything that this is what caused my diagnosis). Women who haveGestational Diabetes are more likely to have bigger babies( no wonder i'm so big) and are more likely to have c-sections (exactly what I don't want!)

Jayden and Kindergarten

So my big boy started kindergarten. His first day of school was on August 25th, 2010. While it was an emotional day I didn't cry, trust me I wanted to but in the end I held it together. Jayden has been waiting for the past three years to go to school. He never had the chance to go to headstart or preschool so this is his first time in a learning area away from me. It is bittersweet. He loves school though! The first day I dropped him off to school and he didn't want me to :( we first had to meet in the gym for back to school orientation, Jayden sat on the ground and about 10 minutes into the gathering he looks at me and says "when are you going to leave?" while sad it was kinda funny too. I ended up walking him to class and stayed for a few minutes. He kept saying "it's alright mom, you can go now" he'd give me a hug and a kiss and reassure me that everything was going to be okay. One of the kids was hysterical, he sobbed and sobbed. He layed on the floor with his hands over his head and just cried his poor little heart out. It was sad. Jayden came home on the third day and said the same little boy cried that day, not once but twice. Poor thing. Also, on the first day one of the moms was hysterical and I felt bad for her as well. It is hard seeing your baby leave and go to school. On the third day Jayden got in a little trouble, the teacher (mrs. gregory) said that he needs to learn to keep his hands to himself but he is a very sweet boy and he puts in great effort. I'm excited about this school year, and i'm going to give frequent updates about his kindergarten experience and progression.


































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Baby Update!!!

On August 23rd we had a level 2 ultrasound, basically because in the first ultra sound that we had the babys kidneys looked enlarged and they wanted to check my placenta around the ambilical cord. I wasn't really nervous about it, honestly at first I was because of delivering Jayden early BUT in my gut and in my heart I knew my baby was alright. I was actually more excited then anything because at the first ultrasound the baby was being uncooperative and wouldn't let us know if it was boy or girl. Well this ultrasound we found out that we are having a GIRL :) i'm so happy I know know what our baby is. Honestly it wouldn't have bothered me not knowing if I had things for the baby, but since it's been 5 years since I had Jayden and no longer have any of his baby baby stuff, it was neccessary to know...and i'm so glad. I would have been happy with either boy or girl, but now i can say i have my boy and my girl. Many people dream of having one of each and don't get that chance so i'm considering myself lucky....We are naming her Kinleigh Marie...Ronnie's sister Tessa is the one who introduced the name to us, and i grew to love it completely. Ironically we found out that we are having a girl on Tessa's bday. She was thrilled that we got to find out on her birthday, this is her first neice and she considered it a great bday present. As far as the rest of the ultrasound it went great!!! the doctor and the ultrasound tech said that Kinleighs' kidneys look perfect and that my placenta was great too, they checked out other things to make sure everything looks normal and they said that as far as they could see everything looked just fine. That is such a relief to hear. I will love what ever god blesses me with, but to know that she appears healthy makes me so happy!! Since I had Jayden 10 weeks early the doctor said that my regular doctor may have me take shots once a week to help prevent me from going into preterm labor. To tell you the truth I am scared to death. I hate needles, I cringe when I have to take blood or any of that stuff, but he said it will be up to my doc and that she may not even recommend it for me. considering this is my second child and honestly don't know why I went into labor early with Jayden they may just play it out and see if I can go full term on my own. I hope that is the case, but i will do what i have to make sure this baby is born as close to on time as possible. I'm just glad that I can finally start calling my baby by HER name :) and can't wait to buy all the girlie stuff!!

VENTING VENTING VENTING

Why do i make myself feel like i am going crazy??? i am so tired of this life that i have right now...for the most part i am SICK of feeling like i have to please everyone in my life...and you know its kind of hard to do that when EVERYONE wants different things from me...

I thought things would be so much better when Ronnie got this job in Cincinnati, but things still haven't gotten better...the money situation is as tight as ever...i almost feel like we had more money when i was the only bringing in any income...since he started painting in Cincy i've lost my unemployment (and i am hoping that soon i can get that back) and ronnie is the only one bringing home any money....I'm not working because of high risk pregnancy reasons and neither are any other people in the house working (mom and lauren) times are desperate right now and i honestly don't see why they can't go put in any kind of effort to go find a job...i know it's Georgetown and next to nothing is hiring in this town, but there are still places open for business here and eventually some place will be hiring!!!

I hate not being able to bring home any income...since before jayden was born I WORKED for MY MONEY and its just so hard not having any...Yeah ronnie works but that isn't mine!!! he pays bills and groceries and stuff he wants with that money...i want to be able to have my own money so if i want ot go out to lunch with friends, or go buy jayden or the baby something...i can...and right now it's not possible!! i know i have 20 weeks of this pregnancy left, but looking at it right now..though it has dragged on it has gone by so quick too. And we have nothing for the baby besides a crib and bedding (which Ronnie's sister bought us) and an outfit...i feel so disappointed in myself...not to mention that i am 5months pregnant and we don't even have a place to live yet...we are still living with my mom!!! i am thankful she has given us a place to stay for so long, but i am ready to have my own place..I know she doesn't ever want us to move. Ronnie wants to move but he wants to move a good half hour to an hour away from my mom...and probably doesn't sound like a big deal BUT i'm not ready for it, i have lived with my mom up until 5 years ago and then i haven't lived more then 3 minutes driving time away from her...if and when we move from here that will devastated me...i've argued with ronnie about moving that far away, and it's a losing battle. I'm tired of arguing with him...so i give up!

As far as Jayden goes, he has done nothing but drive me up the wall lately and i'm going nuts, he whines and cries constantly now and i honestly don't know where its all coming from..he never used to be like this. I hope its a phase that he goes through quickly. He hates to listen to me, and its like pulling teeth to get him to do anything i ask of him....when he is in trouble i take the tv away, i take toys, and outside play time..i've made him go to bed early, i've made him stand in the corner...i don't know what i can do to make this child understand that I am Boss and he Isn't!

I am so stressed about all this stuff...it goes away for a couple days and then there is always something there to remind me of all my worries again..I want this baby that i am carrying to be healthy and strong and it seems as though the weeks go on and on i get more stressed out..eventually i may be put on bed rest and if the doctor doesn't tell met to do it, i may just have to diagnose myself! I'm tired and drained...and really all i want to do is cry....I'm sending God a prayer...PLEASE help me!!!!

Baby Update 7/15/10

I had a monthly checkup today and everything seems to be going very well :) Ronnie and i got to hear the heartbeat again and Dr. Johnson said that it was between 145-150 bmp!!!She also said that the baby seems to move around alot, which is great! In the next couple weeks i should start feeling the baby kick more frequently and alot harder so everyone should be able to know when the baby kicks!!!
  I gained 4 lbs since my visit a month ago...which is the goal weight that i was reaching for, up to this point i hadn't gained any weight. I just want to make sure that this baby is healthy!!!
  Dr. Johnson also told me that we will have an ultrasound in two weeks, and hopefully then we will know if we are having a boy or girl!!! i'm very excited and can't wait!!! She also wants to start seeing me every two weeks since i was early with jayden she wants to make sure that i don't go into preterm labor with this one. I'm feeling good, and i'm excited to continue to watch the baby grow!!! as always i'll keep you updated on the baby, and when i do have my ultrasound in roughly two weeks i will write again!!!

SLEEP

I am 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant as of today...if you estimated thats i'm 4 months along. I remember my first pregnancy with jayden and i honestly have to say it really seemed like cake compared to this one...i never had back problems with my first pregnancy and with this one i've had back problems since i was probably 10 weeks along...with my first pregnancy i had absolutely no morning sickness and i ate like a cow (gaining almost 40 pounds in 6 months!)...with this one for the first 3weeks after finding out i was pregnant i was constantly sick, not throwing up but dry heaving which i consider much much worse!!! and as of last dr visit i still hadn't gained any weight. And now the big big one...when i was pregnant the first time i could probably sleep all day if i wanted to, i never had any discomfort at all when i slept up until i was in the hospital getting ready to have him...but this pregnancy i can never SLEEP! i find it quite ridculous really lol with it being the summer time i am up at least three times getting something to drink and then up again maybe 6 times because my back hurts so much :( well needless to say these past three days i have slept quite amazing compared to the 7 weeks i haven't been sleeping good i've gone from waking up 6-10 times a night, down to three, and then last night i woke up onle once!!! and i'm probably jinxing myself for telling everyone this but it really excites me! In the five years jayden has been born i really haven't lost much sleep for the most part he has been a good sleeper..that first year he was off and on but since then he sleeps through the night he hasn't ever had horrible night mares, or wet the bed...he kept me up once with his breathing problems one night when he was like one and then just recently he woke up with a stomach bug..he threw up and then went straight to bed afterwards...trust me i am not complaining about this, i definitely count my blessings!!! I just wish that sleep would come easier with this pregnancy and i know its not!! these three days i consider myself lucky for being able to sleep through most the night, but i know soon the sleepless nights will come back and every morning i will wake up once again miserable..i hope this just isn't a sign of whats to come when the baby is born!!!!!

Nothing But Drama!!!

The one thing that i can NOT stand is Drama!!! i absolutely hate it...and i hate being caught up in it. I'm the type of person who has always stayed to myself, never really had to many friends except for a handful!!
I am now a 25 year old women getting ready to have my second child and now is definitely not the time to have drama in my life yet it seems it flocks to me, why? that's a good question i really don't know...it's none of my drama; i'm a stay at home mom, not working right now due to me being high risk in my pregnancy and i don't want to chance it, work would just be to much stress on my body. My fiance ronnie recently got a new job and he litterly is gone all day he leaves at 5:30am to go to work and most nights he doesn't get home until after 9at night. i'm home all day unless i decide to take a walk or something and i'm always with jayden unless he is at his papaws and that is usually on weekends.
When i get free time i usually like to try and find time for friends, it doesn't happen often...either they are in my boat and have familys' and no time to spare like me, or they are the free birds with no kids, maybe a job;but, for the most part are hanging out with other friends. These days i don't even know if having friends are worth it, that's where all the drama comes from! Don't get me wrong, i'm not putting all my friends in the drama catergory. All my friends that have kids and families seem to be great friends, they have better things to do then talk shit, start trouble,and get you involved with the craziness;but the friends who have nothing to talk better about then me me me, there promiscuous sex lives, and about our other friends behind their back is starting to strike a nerve with me and honestly i am sick of it and am not going to put up with it anymore.
I don't want anything to do with the childish behavior anymore, and if it doesn't change with them then i am done associating with them...People like that need to grow up and get a real life, i hope that one day they will all grow up and realize drama is over-rated. I absoutely hate people who are nosey, and butt into other people's business...get alife and stay out of mine!!!!
Two friends that i can say have never let me down are Shanin Mers and Jessica Jetter i have known both of them for along time and would do anything for them. They have never put me in their drama and they have never started any with me, I thank them for their friendship always, and can say they will truely be my best friends forever!!!!!

Baby Update

Well i had a dr appt today it was a follow up and we got to hear the heartbeat!!! That was exciting; Ronnie, Jayden, and mom went with me to the appointment i'm glad they all got to hear the heartbeat. I'm 14 weeks today and at 20 weeks i'll get to have my ultra sound, Thats the appt i can't wait for.
At this point there really isn't to much else to say, i've officially started my second trimester! At this point the baby can squint and make other facial expressions along with gasp and even possible suck it's thumb. I've read it's about the size of lemon (apprx. 3 1/2 in) and about 1 1/2 ounces...This concept is so insane to me, but so exciting!!!
As far as energy goes i have more of it, though i ended up trying to take a nap today been up early and needed a little snooze and i had a major headache going on. My appetite has been back for weeks now, and i ended up gaining the pound back that i had lost so i am back at 152 the weight i was when i found out i was pregnant. I'm sure with in the next week or so i'll be packing on the pounds!!! I'll have more updates as the weeks come along...i should have the most exciting news in about 6 weeks (which seems to far away for me) whether this baby is a boy or girl!!!

Jaydens' 5th Birthday

It's my son's 5th birthday, it's so exciting! he's been waiting for this day for the past year!!! he woke me up at 8am with his hand in my face saying "this is how old i am" sometimes it seems he is older than 5, most of the time he acts more mature then he should be, but he does have his moments where the whining comes out. We opened his bday presents around 9am, and i honestly thought he would be a little more excited to open his gifts....i remember when i was his age i was overwhelmed with anticipation, but no he calmly opened each gift and said "oh cool i wanted this" even when he opened the new scooter we got for him all he said was "i wanted this scooter" he did it with a slight smile, but if it had been me my face would have hurt from smiling so much! but i should have expected that from him, even at christmas time he was never really overjoyed that santa had come and left him tons of gifts under the tree. For christmas when he was 3 i had got him a bike, set it all up by the tree and his eyes didn't even light up when he saw it that christmas morning, i thought it was because it was extremly early and he just wasn't awake yet..and maybe that was the case....i know he loves everything that i get/got him he's just not one of those over excited people and that's okay, he says thankyou and most everything always gets good use out of it, so i know i did good!!!!
These 5 years have gone by so quick, i'm glad i have lots of memories to look back on.....i still remember his first birthday and how he was a biter and a headbanger and how for the longest time he wouldn't talk to anybody but family....today is a milestone and there will be many more to come!!!!

My Son

Where do i start off with this one? ok, i know; well lets just say it was very unexpected when i found out i was pregnant with him. In retrospect i should have know i could get pregnant, i thought i was being safe but really i wasn't using the safest technique. Just a few days after i conceived i knew in my head that i was pregnant, i didn't feel any different yet but in my head and in my heart i just knew. The possibility of being pregnant was all i could think about; after all i was 19yrs old, i didn't have a job, and i was living with my mom. So one night, i layed in bed and prayed (as well as cried) to god. I said please god if i'm pregnant help me to get a job and then help me to get an apartment of my own. The next day i woke up it was close to 11 in the morning and had been down stairs sitting with my mom for about five minutes when the phone rang, it was 1st stop gas station (up the road from where i lived) they asked for me and upon talking they asked me if i was still interested in a job!!!! i was shocked, dumb-founded and the first thing that came to mind is that the man above was more then trying to tell me something. So i accepted, went in for an interview and was at work the next day at 6am. I preceeded to keep my thoughts of pregnancy to myself for almost two more months. It was hard to do but work kept me busy so i didn't think of it to much.
Then one day in february, my sister ashley and i started fighting and she pushed me at that point i flew off the handle and screamed as loud as i could "Go ahead hit a pregnant girl" by this time i had already taken a test it came out positive so i knew it was official...Hearing this news Ashley was shocked, i ran out of the house crying, i saw moms' face as i left. I could tell she was shocked and in total disbelief....but she was supportive of me.
I ended up having Jayden 2 1/2 months early it was the scariest time in my life, he was born June 2nd, 2005 8:55pm @ 3lbs2oz and 16inches long. I went into preterm labor after my placenta tore and i started leaking fluids, they kept me at Good Sam for two days before they couldn't hold out any longer and i had to have him, they preped me for a c-section (which i did not want) but before they could take me jayden was ready to be born..i pushed for twenty five minutes and he was born. He was a strong baby and i was so proud of him.
Now today five years later, i still couldn't be more proud of my son and so lucky to be his mother. He has taught me so much, and honestly has saved my life. For most of his life it's just been me and him against the world. He can be such a handful, sometimes driving me totally insane, but those are the things i miss when he's not with me. He is the most loving boy i know, he can't go without telling me he loves me at least 20 times a day and he makes it a point to ask how i am and (now that i'm pregnant) how the baby is doing. He is such a smart boy, he is starting school this August and that day will definitely be a bittersweet one. I know as he gets older it's going to be rough. We are going to go through back talking and staying out late (more then i will ever be comfortable with) but Jayden and i have a special bond that is extremely strong. He is my best friend, i can honestly talk to him about anything, tell him anything. He seems at times a little more mature then he should be, i know as the years pass by he will continue the best son in the world!!!!

New to This

So i'm new to this whole blogging thing. Honestly my friend Jessica got me into it, she's been blogging for years and i've been reading alot of her posts lately and well she's got me wanting one lol. So, i'm going to try it out and see how i like it and i'm sure i will since i'm a professional gabber lol i can talk anyone's ear off and i'm even better at writing it down...i don't know why i didn't start this along time ago it could have probably been a life saver from time to time...as for my story you'll get to hear that one starting...tomorrow...for now it's sweet dreams (of a kindergartener and a soon to be new born baby) dancing in my head :) night all, and hope you can enjoy many blogs to come!!!